Is That What I Said?

How many times has miscommunication been the cause of unnecessary heartache and frustration? One of my students told a story from his early years in Navy special operations. He received orders to go on a covert operation and had to leave at 6 p.m. the day the orders came in. He quickly tried to contact his girlfriend but only got her voicemail. He was new to all this and, without really thinking, left a message that said, You need to call me by 6 p.m. tonight, or don’t bother calling. I will try you again. He was saying I’ll be gone by then, but she heard we’re over as a couple.

His deployment lasted a year. That was an interesting year for both of them. Amazingly, they reunited at the end of that year and are very happily married today. An important communication lesson was learned. One misconstrued statement resulted in a year of hurt and frustration that could have been avoided.

As the student told the story, we all had a good chuckle, but part of me just could not laugh. See, I was being reminded of the times I unintentionally hurt someone with a careless word, an ill-timed comment, or an ambiguous statement that was easily misinterpreted. Since it was not intentional, I did not even know I had done it. I can think of a couple of situations when more than a year passed before I was made aware of the offense I had caused. I was devastated.

My mistakes of the past make me keenly aware of how I communicate in the present, but guess what. I still hurt people with my words on occasion. We will be offended and we will offend others. It is part of living. We are not perfect people, but we serve a perfect God. May He give each one of us the sensitivity and discernment to choose right words to say in every situation. On those occasions we fall short in this endeavor, may we be quick to ask forgiveness, and recognize we have taken one more step in God’s perfecting process that will never be finished this side of eternity. As Max Lucado says, God has forgiven you; you’d be wise to do the same.