Heroes Do Not Apply!

We must be equipped and prepared to respond with wisdom and understanding when called on to be a comfort to those in despair. What we often find difficult to reconcile in our minds is that the key to their healing and deliverance is not dependent on what we say or do. It is dependent on what the Spirit says to them and does in them. Our role is often to simply be there; to be a concerned and loving friend. Henri Nouwen says it so well. “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”

The problem is we all know enough to give advice to those who are hurting and in despair. Some of us have spent considerable time in study and preparation to always have the right answer in every situation. While this is not a bad thing, it is easy to start believing our answers are THE answers; that what we know is sufficient, and actually required, for others to solve the problems of their lives. After we fail at this a few times, we walk away saying this failure was the result of the other person’s refusal to respond or change, yet knowing all along our advice and counsel was totally insufficient. The result? We just give up and stop caring and stop ministering, and eventually just stop loving. The joy of being used by God has now been replaced by the spiritual and emotional destitution of trying to be God.

If this describes you, congratulations! You have now successfully completed the most important training God could ever give us. You have walked through His boot camp that teaches us we are only clay in His hands molded regularly into the instrument He can use to touch people in specific times and in specific situations. You have learned that kingdom work is not about you. You have learned that dying is living; that giving in to the Spirit is the opposite of giving up on what God has called you to do.

God is not asking us to be heroes—Satan is. No one can honestly relate to a mythical hero created by Hollywood or video games, and no one can relate to us when we have elevated ourselves to hero status. They relate to us when we relate to them. Do you want to change lives? Stop thinking it is you who must do it. You will start to see miraculous events unfold all around you and know the unspeakable joy of being fully in His service just as He created you to be. Get up every morning proclaiming less of me and more of you God and you will find a fresh purpose for living and loving you never thought possible.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… not healing, not curing… that is a friend who cares. –Nouwen

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  –Proverbs 18:24

Why Am I Illogically Irrational?

Ronald Nash, in his book Worldviews In Conflict, discusses the test of reason, or what he also calls the law of noncontradiction. Simply put, the law of noncontradiction says a proposition cannot be true and false at the same time and in the same sense; an object cannot be both square and round at the same time; we cannot be both human and dog, and so on. While this seems so elementary, it is a concept many people find difficult to apply to life.

It is amazing how often Christians will violate the law of noncontradiction in the name of faith. We experience this when everything about a person or a situation says “no”, but we ignore the obvious and say “yes” (or vice versa). We then explain this by acknowledging God’s ways are higher than our ways, which somehow justifies our making illogical and irrational decisions. Well, God’s ways are most definitely higher than our ways, but he also gives us all the information we need to make good choices and wise decisions. He is not withholding information we need to make decision that please him. That would contradict his nature. The rules for life and living established by God are clearly presented in scripture and have never changed.

If circumstances and people say no but God says yes, then we must also say yes. To do otherwise is to compromise what God wants to do through us. If, however, everything says no and we are not certain God has said yes, we should not move forward thinking we are giving God an opportunity to work a miracle. Assuming we can force God’s hand by doing what we want and not what He wants simply will not stand up to the test of reason. That is simply illogical. We have all seen too many Christians derailed because of this kind of presumptuous thinking. We cannot force God to perform miracles. That would contradict his sovereignty.  

God gave us sharp minds, discerning hearts, and the wisdom of the Spirit to show us what is good and right. Test what you feel God is telling you to do. If it contradicts his nature, his character, or his Word, then it has failed the ultimate test of reason. 

We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.  –1 John 5:20

I Don’t Know Why I Am Afraid!

Fear is one of our most primal emotions. It was given to us for a reason. Healthy fear is a preserving part of who we are. The adrenaline rush that follows the sudden triggering of the fight or flight mechanisms in our brain leaves us in a momentary state of heightened awareness and sensitivity with increased heart rate, blood pressure, and other autonomic responses few of us could sustain for any length of time. It is actually an amazing phenomenon that teaches us powerful lessons for our own protection.

Interestingly, the most powerful processes in the brain related to fear take place in the areas of the brain associated with feelings and emotions and not thought. Research has shown these emotion areas of the brain have their own memory that creates conditioned responses based on feelings and not thinking. This is why simply telling yourself not to be afraid is not enough.

Have you ever been in a situation that caused you fear or anxiousness, and you told yourself over and over not to be afraid? Did it work? Probably not. You are negotiating with your rational brain, but your emotional brain is feeding the fear. Are you dealing with fears that embarrass you because they seem so irrational? Well, they probably are irrational, since rationality seems to play a limited role in what makes us fearful. Do you see how this can be debilitating and paralyzing as we walk through life?

When people think out of the box or step out and show initiative only to be shamed or criticized by someone they respect or someone in authority over them, a sense of anxiousness and fear can create a conditioned response that will keep them from ever trying that again. Every time an opportunity to lead or influence comes along, they get a paralyzing anxiety that has no basis in rationality. The fact that they cannot explain why their gifts, talents, and abilities are not being used only magnifies the conditioned response that is now lodged deeply in their emotional being. Does this describe you?

Only the Holy Spirit can address these issues in our lives. The Spirit both renews the mind and heals the heart. Breaking free of the conditioned responses that keep us in an unproductive cycle of repeated behavior requires us to cry out to Jesus with a deep and sincere humility and a willingness to be healed in our emotions, not just in our mind. Failing to do this ensures tomorrow and the days to come will only be a repeat of today. Pray specifically that the Holy Spirit will reveal the fears that have taken root in your heart and emotions and then be courageous enough to act on what is revealed. God is not asking you to break a secret code to be free of debilitating fear. He wants to make what is holding you back crystal clear so tomorrow can be the first step on the journey of effectiveness and kingdom productivity He created you to walk from the day you were born.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future  (Jeremiah 29:11). If your mind gets excited about this, but your heart is filled with doubt that it is true, ask God to remove the conditioned responses that fear has created. 

Is That What I Said?

How many times has miscommunication been the cause of unnecessary heartache and frustration? One of my students told a story from his early years in Navy special operations. He received orders to go on a covert operation and had to leave at 6 p.m. the day the orders came in. He quickly tried to contact his girlfriend but only got her voicemail. He was new to all this and, without really thinking, left a message that said, You need to call me by 6 p.m. tonight, or don’t bother calling. I will try you again. He was saying I’ll be gone by then, but she heard we’re over as a couple.

His deployment lasted a year. That was an interesting year for both of them. Amazingly, they reunited at the end of that year and are very happily married today. An important communication lesson was learned. One misconstrued statement resulted in a year of hurt and frustration that could have been avoided.

As the student told the story, we all had a good chuckle, but part of me just could not laugh. See, I was being reminded of the times I unintentionally hurt someone with a careless word, an ill-timed comment, or an ambiguous statement that was easily misinterpreted. Since it was not intentional, I did not even know I had done it. I can think of a couple of situations when more than a year passed before I was made aware of the offense I had caused. I was devastated.

My mistakes of the past make me keenly aware of how I communicate in the present, but guess what. I still hurt people with my words on occasion. We will be offended and we will offend others. It is part of living. We are not perfect people, but we serve a perfect God. May He give each one of us the sensitivity and discernment to choose right words to say in every situation. On those occasions we fall short in this endeavor, may we be quick to ask forgiveness, and recognize we have taken one more step in God’s perfecting process that will never be finished this side of eternity. As Max Lucado says, God has forgiven you; you’d be wise to do the same.

I Mean What I Do, Not What I Say

We all have deeply ingrained assumptions or generalizations that determine how we understand the world and how we respond and behave. Noted author Peter Senge calls these mental models. He says we quite often are not aware of these mental models or the effect they have on our behavior. We may say we believe one thing, then behave in a contrary fashion based on deeply held beliefs and assumptions we don’t even know exist.

For example, we may profess faith in Jesus Christ who conquered death, hell, and the grave; the One before whom every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord; the One who forever lives and now stands at the right hand of the Father in heaven constantly interceding on our behalf–and our professions go on and on. Yet we live our lives in constant fear and anxiousness as if Satan will, at any moment, overpower Christ and everything God has planned for us will be totally destroyed. With our mouths we say I don’t really believe Satan can do that, but the way we actually live our lives says we believe it much more than we can ever admit. Where does something like that come from? Why does it happen over and over?  

Senge says, The discipline of working with mental models starts with turning the mirror inward; learning to unearth our internal pictures of the world, to bring them to the surface and hold them rigorously to scrutiny. This does not happen in isolation. It takes courage to allow caring friends to point out the inconsistencies we cannot see on our own. It takes courage to admit the lens through which we have viewed life is distorted. It takes courage to trust God as much as we say we do. Together we can find that courage. Let today be the day you allow God to bring all your mental models into alignment with His plans and His purposes for your life. 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. –Proverbs 3:5-8

Hold On To The Boat

A couple of weeks ago, four friends went on a fishing trip off the coast of south Florida. When they did not return that night, the Coast Guard launched a search. Two days later, one lone survivor was found still clinging to the overturned boat. His story is not clear, since he was in serious condition when rescued, suffering from hypothermia. It appears two of the men simply took off their lifejackets and slipped beneath the surface of the water. Another thought he saw land, removed his lifejacket, and swam away. He was not seen again.

All these men were athletes. Two of them were currently playing football in the NFL. They had all the safety equipment, and the owner of the boat was an experienced boater and fisherman. They all, no doubt, knew their best chance of survival was to stay with the boat. So what happened? It would appear the effects of hypothermia caused confusion that led to fatal decisions.

We may not be in the ocean, but no one would argue that our nation is facing the rough seas of economic turmoil and global conflict. The waves have grown to the point many lives are being upended. The unimaginable has become reality and those who were once comfortable are now struggling to survive.

Guys, we are no match for this storm. The men in the boat that sank off the Florida coast were physically and mentally tough. They were professional athletes in one of the toughest sports in the world, but they were no match for the forces of nature that came against them. On our own, we are no match for the forces coming against us today. We are prone to make the same kind of wrong decisions these men made.

We may have been self-sufficient in the past, but this does not mean being self-sufficient will be enough now or in the future. It is in these times that deceptive forces say let go of the boat; compromise your values and cut a few corners to get through this crisis. Don’t do it! The results can be catastrophic. There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death (Proverbs 16:25).

This is the time to hold fast to what is good and right, even though everything in you wants to let go. Help is on the way and you will be able to hang on until it arrives. How do I know? Because God said He would never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). That means you will be rescued!

 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:12-13).

This Is Not My Rock!

A group of men from Greenbrier Church gathered at Camp Silver Beach on Virginia’s Eastern Shore this past weekend for a time of camaraderie, worship, and refreshing. It was a great opportunity to reflect on the goodness of God during these troublesome times of uncertainty. He is giving us peace. He is showing us that we are not in control of our lives. He is asking for our burdens. All these messages came through loud and clear over the short 24 hours we men had together.

Each of us carried a rock representing burdens we have not laid down. I was quickly aware of how that burden got in the way of almost everything I did. It occupied my hands, which meant it occupied my mind and compromised my focus every time I did something. I put it in my pocket, but then I had to hold my pants up when I was running. That rock just held me back. When I laid that rock at the foot of a cross Saturday afternoon to symbolically let go of my burdens, I was keenly aware of how holding on to the enemy’s unnecessary baggage separates us from the liberty we are to live daily in Christ.

If we carry something long enough, we convince ourselves it is part of who we are. We believe the lie and live condemned when God has made provision through Christ for us to be whole and absolutely free. I encourage everyone to seek a new revelation of who you are in Christ. Let Him show you the deceptions that have become so much a part of your life that you are treating them as truth. Let Him set you free to be who He created you to be. Lay your burdens at the foot of the Cross where they belong. They do not belong to you. They have been purchased by the One who is perfect in every way. Exchange gladness for mourning and praise for despair (Isaiah 61:3).

Pass the Broccoli

In one of his devotions, Max Lucado points out that we have days when we seem to be blessed at every turn. Our plate is full and God keeps bringing more good food. Then there are those days when we must eat our broccoli from a plate filled with less pleasant offerings. How true this is. I immediately went back in my mind to a couple of good food days and a couple of broccoli days. Memories of the good days bring a smile, but I have to admit real growth in my life did not happen on those days.

The focus of a recent meeting I attended turned to the need for regular accountability and evaluation from above and below. The discussion suggested a need for constant evaluation from those we lead and from those who lead us. One person boldly said I really want that kind of evaluation; shouldn’t every Christian want honest and open feedback? I don’t remember the statement getting much of a response. How many of us honestly relish being scrutinized? We do like being complimented and affirmed, but not examined and evaluated.

How many times has the plate life serves up been filled with those unpleasant situations that force deep scrutiny of motives and attitudes. Living becomes much simpler once we learn life’s plate of unpleasant food is so rich in nutrients that only a few bites give enough energy to run through a troop and leap over a wall? Cake is sweet, but cake is insufficient fuel for fighting the good fight and finishing the race. Lord, help us understand how those things unpleasant are allowing us to see ourselves as you see us that we might be strengthened for the journey to which we are called. 

Refresh My Soul Through My Soles

As I watched people praying for one another this past Sunday, I was deeply moved by the way one man prayed for another. He put his hands on the soles of the kneeling man’s feet. Why did this move me? The one for whom he was praying has walked a hard journey the past few months and nothing seemed more appropriate at that moment than the simple act of blessing the soles of his feet.

We are quick to pray for hearts and minds. We ask God to lift people into heavenly places, but we can easily forget that each one of us is firmly attached to this earth with all its hurts, disappointments, and strife. Oh, I know God allows our spirits to commune with Him. I have been there and nothing is so sweet, but these times do not change the fact that my feet must, for now, walk this dusty earth.

The glory of God is revealed in the mundane journey we find ourselves walking day by day. We so often long for times of spiritual ecstasy, only to realize our feet are still planted firmly on terra firma and the muck through which I walked yesterday is waiting for the soles of my feet again today. That is the reality of life.

What a beautiful picture of Jesus’ love for us is drawn by his washing the dust and the dung from the feet of his disciples. It is as if He was saying, I will touch you where the world touches you. I will touch you just where you are. If the burdens are so heavy right now that you feel it is impossible to raise your heart to Jesus, just let Him touch your “sole.” Let Him touch you where the world is touching you. Don’t feel you must overcome the world. He has already done that. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33). If you believe this, your soul will be refreshed while your soles continue the journey. 

Why Is My Heart Sick?

I was perusing craigslist as a break from grading papers. If you have not visited this online classified website, you have not experienced the thrill of an online garage sale, flea market, and junkyard all wrapped up in one. Actually, there are some really good deals on some nice stuff out there right now. The steep downturn in the economy is requiring many people to sell much of what they have. As I looked at a recurring theme throughout the ads—I need money to pay bills, or I need money for tuition—I was reminded of what my grandmother told me when I was very young. She said stay out of debt and you will be rich. She rather prophetically said, there will come a day when you can drive down the road and see anything you want being sold for a dime on the dollar. If you don’t owe anyone anything, she said, you will be able to afford whatever you want.

Well, I can’t necessarily afford everything I want, but I am amazed at how true what my grandmother said turned out to be. I was then reminded of Proverbs 13:12, Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. How many people are absolutely heartsick today because their hope is in those things they can no longer have. For those whose life has been filled with fun and pleasure but no recognition that all good things come from our Heavenly Father, their hope has been deferred; it has been sidetracked by a world economic situation over which they have no control.

Where is your hope today? If your hope is fully in Christ and the eternal promises he represents for all of us, the deepest longings of your heart are constantly fulfilled. To hope in Him is to embrace hope that will never be deferred. It is a hope that is not subject to this world or any economic crisis this world may experience. Why not exchange a sick heart for a tree of life that never stops bearing good fruit, no matter what goes on around us. 

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